I feel sick

It's a week before the festivities should begin, but already I've been stuffing myself with chocolate. I couldn't help it. I needed comfort, having lost a prize I really wanted, and there was a big tin of Cadbury's Roses on top of the cupboard, staring at me, lulling me into its colourful, glitzy interior. And of course I've been making truffles, as I do at this time of year, so I've had a go at those too. Now I feel sick. Not in the sense of being sated on something delicious, but in the sense that I really deserve to feel ill; why else would I have eaten that much sugar if I didn't want some kind of poisoning? I feel like I've put on 5lb in the last 5 hours and I'm already feeling guilty about the run that I need in the morning, but don't have time for because I'm supposed to be going for Christmas lunch with friends, where I'll no doubt eat more of the bloody truffles I made. What about the three hours between breakfast and lunch you might ask. Ask away; I'll be too busy running around buying more Roses to fill up the tin to hide the fact that I've eaten most of them to go for a run between breakfast and lunch. And before breakfast? Bugger that, I've got the school play to attend in the evening, I'll need to get as much sleep as I can so that I don't fall asleep then. More guilt. Why do we have to suffer 2 hours of interminable torture for the two lines of glory given to each of our children? The sad thing is, even the kids can't stand sitting around for 117 minutes with nothing to do but listen to the other kids' 3 minutes of fame either. So who is all this crap really for? I think it's for the teachers...look what we've got the little monsters to do, aren't we clever? No you're not; you're a pain in the bloody arse. And it's because of you that I'm about to go and eat the rest of that tin of chocolates, aaaargh!