Pulling the threads

It's gone midnight and I'm still sat here making things. I'm making something small at the moment; it won't be with me long, I'll be sending it on its journey tomorrow. Journeys have been on my mind a lot over the last few days. I'm thinking more about the journeys we make as people, rather than physically crossing the land in some way, short or far. I'm on an amazing journey at the moment, several even, and I have no idea of its destination. There's something extraordinarily thrilling about the unplanned, the not knowing what will happen next. It's like a journey of encounters: the threads of the journey are all tangled and you take hold of the end and pull and pull at it, so that it unravels, but ahead of you is still this tangled unknown. You could stop pulling at any time and stay, but the threads I'm pulling at are leading me into beautiful, exciting territory and I'm not ready to stop anywhere yet.

The unknown and unplanned doesn't come without its anxieties though and I've got plenty of those. What if this part of the journey is the best it will be, what if I carry on travelling and miss it? What if I can't cope with what I find along the way? But this is one of those journeys where there's no going back, and that, in fact, is the scariest part. I am a restless person and feel like I will always be travelling, so I have to accept that with my restlessness, anxiety will never be far behind. Perhaps anxiety is just the fuel that will keep me going.