Guilt, guilt and more guilt

I'm feeling guilty. Making Unspoken has been a breeze. And making art shouldn't be like that should it? It should be a tortuous affair, with much pulling out of the hair, tantrums, swearing and staring blankly out of the window. It's the big day tomorrow, not today as I'd been lead to believe. No, setting up is now from 8am tomorrow morning. In Penzance. 25 odd bloody miles away. And I have a child that has to be at school here at 9am. How will that work then? Thanks to a friend it's kind of sorted and I can get to the gallery at 9am, giving Chantal and me exactly one hour to set the installation up. No worries there then. I'm going over to Chantal's first thing in the morning to load up the car with some plinths that she's stoically made, with very little help from me whatsoever. More guilt. Here I am fart-arsing around doing stuff I have no recollection of, so must have been hugely important, and there she is working like a Trojan in the lashing rain and howling gales. She was expecting cows to fly past the windows of her cliff-top cottage, she told me - and I could well believe it, having been up there today in a bit of blustery weather. Wuthering Heights suddenly seemed so real! The trees hereabouts are depressingly leafless now, the winds having taken away the last bit of autumn colour...

I'm mildly concerned that I'm not sitting here panicking. Surely that means I've forgotten something? Well, I did leave half the installation over at Chantal's house when I needed to bring it home to be able to work from it, but hey at least I know it's now in safe hands! I should probably be worrying that it's pissing down with rain again and that the windscreen wipers on my car have all but given up the ghost. I should probably be worrying that we've got to load up some very delicate, paper covered plinths in the wet and there's no time to put right any possible damage when we get there. I should probably be worrying about the talk we've got to give about the installation (and complete lack of any preparation). But no, I'm more worried about what the gallery coffee will taste like and whether I should take a flask. So now I feel guilty about not worrying about tomorrow too. I just don't get it: why has it all been so 'easy', so far? Maybe it's because the idea is relatively simple; maybe it's because Chantal and I just seem to mirror each others thoughts and processes without any stress or arguments (unlike some other collaborations that are going on at the moment - so I'm told!). Maybe it's because everything will go pear-shaped tomorrow instead, when there's no time to do anything about it. And maybe because I know there won't be any time to do anything about it, I'm just going with the flow and what will be will be...

And tomorrow, if all does go to plan, I'll take some photos of the work and post it here, finally, for you all (all 2 of you!) to see! You have no idea how hard it's been for me not to put up any pictures of the work! I deserve a bloody medal, I tell you. I'm so excited about it that I can't wait to share it!!!