Making stuff

My desk this afternoon...hmmm, maybe that bottle of turps shouldn't be quite so close to the pan of boiling beeswax?

Studio? What studio?

Been asleep from 11 - 1 again today. Not just napping, more the coma-sleep variety; the sort where you wake up, sit up and feel like you still left your head on the pillow. What was I doing before 11? I can't remember, but I'm sure it was scintillating. A visit to the building society was included, I remember that much. I hate my building society branch. There are always queues out the door and halfway to bloody Exeter, whatever time of day, and only ever two miserable-looking cashiers. I suppose they have a right to look miserable, I guess I would if I could see my day's work trailing round like a snake out the door; no pleasant surprises as to who might walk in, no anticipation of a genial chat or gossip - you can see all the oap's and you know all they'll want to talk about is the price of bacon and the bloody queue. Ho hum.

I'm getting a bit worried about the lack of creative thought going on in my brain at the moment. There is a drought. I have been in the studio though; in fact that's where I went to sleep. But it's beginning to feel less like a studio and more like a wardrobe in there lately, they're are clothes everywhere. Okay so they're my clothes and maybe it's just a sabotage technique, but it's distracting and who wants to get the ink and wax out and get them all over your favourite underwear? A very good sabotage technique this one, I wonder how long I can make it last? Well, I've only got an hour or so before I have to make the trip over to the school, so there's not much point in going in there now is there? No. I could just have another look at a couple of good blogs I like, like reasons to be cheerful or maybe unreliable witness (bloggers after my own heart these seem to be). Or coffee. I can smell how wonderful it will be (see my imagination does still work). Maybe food though, I've just realised I'm starving; had nothing to eat since my porridge this morning. Food. And coffee. Over a couple of blogs...

omg

euuuuuw... I've turned the heating on in my studio and the smell is RANK!!! And since I'm spending more time in there lately, that's not good! If anyone out there has any ideas as to where I can store my collection of dead and decaying stuff, without it decaying to nothing, let me know, for I fear that before long I will be wearing eau de owl permanently...

ugh

I've just walked into my studio for the first time in a couple of days. I'd forgotten that my thoughtful son had collected a couple of recently dead things in plastic bags - and left them in there for me... When I opened the door the smell hit me like a canon ball. I've just found a vole and a fledgling on my desk, and a whole load of flies all over the room. I think I'm going to take the bio-hazard sign off the fridge and put it on the studio door.

I can't sleep

So here I am again...

I put on my fairy wings this afternoon and waved the blackbird wand, but nothing happened and I had to get down to cleaning the studio myself :( No sooner than I got it in to a reasonable state to work in, a squatter moved in...


Where was I supposed to sit and read now? I decided I wouldn't bother and found something more interesting and satisfying to do instead - and I've only just finished. I've been making more art work...because of course I've got loads more storage space to fill!!!!! I'm feeling really creative at the moment, but have this beastly anxiety that it will all dissipate (or more likely disappear in a flash) and then I won't have anything for months, maybe years, or decades. The worry keeps me awake at night. When you're not making anything, do you call it a 'research period' to make yourself feel better? I'm living in fear of my next research period; I hope and trust something will come out of my last piece of work, but what if it doesn't? I have this one thing I'm concentrating on and nothing else. It's scary. And late. Maybe I should stop inflicting my anxieties on you and try and get some sleep! Night, night!

It's so annoying when...

you can't get through the door to your studio....and the rest of the house doesn't look much better. Wouldn't it be wonderful if a little fairy came along and waved her magic wand to make it all clean and tidy - and at least quadrupled the size of the room while she was at it!

Buzz

After a considerable amount of procrastination this morning the studio is finally tidy enough to be able to do some work on Embark. Noticed an abundance of blue bottles buzzing around in there though... hmmm. Maybe I'll work outside this afternoon instead.



Follow the 'embark project' link below to find other related posts.

Embarking on my next art project

Beginning to feel slightly anxious and a bit panicky about the Embark commission (yes, it's a commission - I discovered there's some payment for the exhibition: an added bonus!)... It feels like time is continuing to tick away very rapidly, to when I have to have everything ready to go to print (end of this month), and I haven't made a start yet. So I decided that today would be my first proper project day and went for a walk round Trelissick to the ferry. I also planned to tidy up my studio so that I can do some work...

As you can see I haven't got very far with that bit yet, it's still looking like the beginnings of a Baconesque pit!


I did find some interesting source material on the walk though, washed up on the beach...


And made a few notes...
Checked out the available 'wall' space...And had a cup of coffee and some shortbread at the NT cafe (of course) whilst gathering my thoughts. (No picture of that though!)

Also decided that I'm going to keep an AN project blog (Artist's Information Company - link on the left under art info), so when I've set it up I'll put a link to it here. Meanwhile I'd better go and tidy the studio and find somewhere I can put those bird wings that won't stink out the entire house...

Follow the 'embark project' link below to find other posts on this subject.

In the studio

Pungent smell of death in the studio today. Who'd have thought that such a tiny bird could give off enough odour to fill a room?

State of the art studio equipment

Oh yes, I've got it all! (That was an oblique reference to a Tracey Emin photo, for those of you that might've been wondering...)


I realise I'm going to have to explain the above photo for those with no technical know-how; forgive me if I have to resort to jargon - some things are just too technical to have words in common parlance... What you see is the most sophisticated bit of kit in my studio, it's brand new and an absolute dream to use. It has a highly specialised use: the very shiny double pot construction on top ('bain-marie' for the initiated) holds water in the bottom part and wax in the top. I have to admit I was a bit confused by the packaging for this piece of equipment - it suggested I might want to melt chocolate in it. Er, no...any chocolate that's going to be melted will be done by the old fashioned method: in my mouth thank you very much.

The sleek black section you see underneath is the real powerhouse of the machine. When you turn that futuristic-looking white knob, which, incidentally, gives you infinite control, the 'hob', as we artists like to call it, heats up. It does this at an alarmingly quick rate - much faster than getting a traditional fire going for instance. Soon, the water in the bottom pot begins to boil and bubble, which in turn causes any blocks of wax you may have put in the top pot to melt. You can then use that fantastic white button to turn down the heat so that the wax doesn't explode unexpectedly in your face, when you finally remember to go and inspect how liquid it has become.

I'm really excited to have got this piece of equipment - you won't believe how much time it's already saving me. It's also taken away all the anxiety I had about using such dangerous substances, because now I don't have to run up and down stairs with a pot full of boiling, smoking wax, which I always managed to spill on my hands by one means or another... Now, I can just sit in my studio, turn that big bold knob and wait for the magic to begin. I think I also read that you can use this 'hob' to heat up a can of beans - now why would I want to do that when I've got a perfectly usable kitchen downstairs?

The studio's filling up

Well, the problem of the studio carpet has been sorted; I managed to buy one for the extortionate cost of £13.00 at the lovely Trago Mills, which I've plonked on top of the original one. It's a hideous shade of dark blue, but at least I don't have to worry about whether I get placticene or plaster on it any more. The shelves are still filling up with stuff, but as long as I don't make too much more I should be okay!

I'm already using it more than I did the one in Falmouth - it's so much easier to spend an hour and a half upstairs than it is to drive to a freezing cold warehouse in Falmouth! I've finally started to practice some mould making and today (yes, I can even work at weekends now!), after a third attempt, I actually managed to mix some plaster to the right consistency and get the rotten stuff to set. Going back to basics can make you feel completely incompetent, but I'm so engrossed the time just flies by. I've managed to make one half of a plaster mould around a wax model of a bird (THE wax model I made in Scotland) and the next job, for this evening, is to make the other half - I must remember to use a release agent between the two halves this time...

I've had quite an arty week this week; I went to Tate St Ives on Thursday and to an artist's video exhibition in Falmouth on Friday night - more about those in another post later on. I'm also looking at curating an exhibition next year and went out looking for a possible venue. On Monday I'm off to another artists' meeting in Redruth...all this activity is great, but I'd better get upstairs and make some stuff too, 'cos isn't that what artists are meant to do?!

Studio takes shape

Hmmm, it's taking shape, but I'm not convinced it's the shape of a studio...the carpet doesn't help. I'm worried I'm either going to ruin it, or that I'll carry on treating it like a study. It's taken a lot of work clearing out the space (mainly in terms of finding places for the stuff to go), including the cupboard that was full of junk and hasn't been looked at for four years! At the moment the room's looking reasonably functional as a studio for working on a small scale (apart from the carpet), but there's still stuff in my Falmouth studio that I have to bring home... who knows where that lot's going to go!

When I went to visit a friend's studio, who also works from home, I realised that the way he'd used his space would work well for me, so I've tried to do something along the same lines. He had all his books, computers, magazines, found objects and work space in one room, which was great. The only thing is, his space is at least 3 times bigger than mine, if not more. I've just about got room for my art books, a comfyish chair (essential for reading and taking naps!), a small work desk - but no proper work benches, no floor space for making a mess on with plaster, and no decent wall space either.

There's also the question of what to do with the junk that's still on the landing outside the 'studio' door... Well, I know what I'd like to do with it, but I've been vetoed!

New studio

I haven't been down to my studio much at all this year, and the guilt of paying for something I'm using as a storage space is beginning to wear a bit thin. Apart from the freezing cold and leaking roof in winter, and the perpetual noise from the recording studio downstairs, I've been trying to figure out why I haven't been there and what's changed.

Initially I was attracted to sharing a space because it gave me access to huge white walls and contact with other artists that were working in the building. It also seemed like a good idea to have somewhere else to go so that I could get away from the distractions at home (one noisy one in particular!) and have space to concentrate. Now though, because of the redevelopment, lots of other people are moving out into plush new studios down the road. These are about £25 a week plus rates, and I certainly can't afford that so it's not an option. Anyway, lots of these other artists have now become friends, so I'll still have good contact with creative people, even if I'm not working in the same buildings.

I also think that wall space has become less important than floor space, as I want to make things. The thought of doing that in the studio in the freezing months to come isn't a good one; materials are more difficult to work at low temperatures - and so am I! One other thing that I've found difficult is actually having the time to get there. Because I went to Scotland I had to make loads of time up at work, which meant working on the days I would normally go to the studio and the motivation just drained away. So all in all, I've been in a bit of a quandary of late.

At the weekend though, a friend came round and I talked to her about the possibility of working from a 'spare' room at home - one that we'd just turned into a comfortable study, with all my lovely art books in it! She convinced me that if I chucked out all the 'junk' I'd have just about enough room - and wasn't it better to have a small space than no space at all, which is effectively what my Falmouth studio becomes in the winter. I think she's probably right and have decided to give it a go. It should offer several advantages: I can heat it; I can use it when Kim's being baby sat by the tv, and in the middle of the night when he's asleep (that was when the bands seem to practice in the studio below) and I can save the rent!

So, on Monday I made a start with clearing out the excess furniture; I've kept the books, a desk and a chair and that's it. So far it's looking good, but I haven't been to Falmouth to collect the stuff I have there yet...I'm concerned that the new room won't be big enough to store anything in and don't know what to do with it all! Maybe I could have a bonfire party?

Time gentlemen please

I feel like I got back from Scotland yesterday, but it's almost a week already... I don't know where the time has gone, or what on earth I've been doing since then. I certainly haven't been down to my studio - although I have finally bought some metal modelling tools, which are a bit more appropriate than the red plastic ones I borrowed from Kim's Fimo modelling kit!

I seem to be all over the place and just can't settle into a routine. Having my work days changed about, first due to Scotland and now half term, doesn't help, but I think it's more than that. Of course I've been reflecting on my time at the Scottish Sculpture Workshop, but I've also been reading a book How to be Free by Tom Hodgkinson (see The Idler), which I think is making me question everything. I realised in Scotland that I just don't make enough work, and if I want to change that, which I have to, then I have to carve out more time from somewhere. Two five-hour days a week for art, that are often compromised, are just not enough if I want to get anywhere. And by that I mean make work that I regularly exhibit. What my experience really taught me was that I just don't make time to play and experiment, not just with materials, but with ideas as well.

Reading How to Be Free is making me see that work rules my life, even though I only work part-time, that and school hours; it's a pain in the backside having to conform to someone else's idea of when I should work or when Kim should learn. I never had more difficulty than when Kim started school and I had to fit in with hours imposed on my life by authority. In Scotland I found that my natural rythm was to begin work around 9.30, then to take a longish lunch break of an hour and a half to two hours and then continue working to 9 or 10pm. Not having a tv helped. I'd sit in my room and draw, which was much more fun, more creative and will of course eventually be more fruitful. I hate television; it has a way of sucking you in to being lazy. I actually found myself regretting that I'd missed the BBC's last two episodes of Jane Eyre whilst I was in Scotland. It was the only thing I did miss. But why? I had to remind myself that I have the book on the shelf and if I wanted to read it again, I could do it anytime in my own time, not on someone else's schedule. The trouble with tv at home is that the rest of the family gravitate to it in the evenings and I have a natural urge to gravitate towards them for a bit of company. Persuading them to give it up will be worse than pulling teeth; I know because I've tried. I can stop Kim watching it without trouble, but trying to impose my rules on other adults is pointless, of course.

So, the only solution, as I see it, is to remove myself from the situation, to find another room in the house where I can leave my 'play equipment' (art stuff) and go and have a bit of fun of my own, however antisocial. Going down to my studio in the evenings is a non-statrter with a young child; he needs feeding, washing and putting to bed for one thing. And he doesn't go to bed until 9pm. So from 3 - 9pm each day I'm more or less actively parenting. Being an only child he demands more adult time than children with siblings seem to do. For three days a week I work at the dreaded social services from when I drop him off at school to when I pick him up. Then of course there are the weekends... To be able to sit and think, which is what this is, I've had to get up at 6 this morning (unnatural!) to guarantee myself an hour and a half of peace and quiet. Well, I hear you cry why don't you go and do some art instead? Because although an hour and a half is ample for me for writing or reading, running, practicing guitar or whatever, it just doesn't seem to be enough for making work; it's barely enough time to clear my head before I can pick up a pencil...

So, that's it. My trouble, my dilemma: how do I make more time? If you have any ideas or practical advice I'd really like to know. In the mean time, I can hear the radio alarm clock coming somewhere from upstairs, which means my hour and a half is up and I have to go and get myself showered and breakfast on the go...

Development...

I've found out today that we'll probably have to be out of our studios in about a year's time, so that the site can be redeveloped... I'm told there are plans to build 43 flats, a cafe, a restaurant, a hotel, a gallery and a few studios - well that's alright then isn't it? Er, no! God knows how all of that's going to go in the space available. (I haven't seen the plans yet.) But it will mean more water frontage lost to the upwardly mobile (ie more holiday homes); more studio space lost to commercial artists that sell to the tourist trade - how perfect, a gallery, hotel AND studios on site creating a mini economy...vomit. You can tell I'm happy. If anyone's got a barn going cheap in the Cornish countryside, let me know.

At work in the studio on a major piece of work!

(photo courtesy of Hilsy Macd.)